MLBaseball Announce Expansion of Teams, Playoffs, Leagues, and Egos

Major League Baseball announced today that the baseball season will be expanded to 365 games.

"Everyone loves baseball," gushed MLB commissioner Bud Selig. "Hockey? Who gives a crap? Basketball? The games should be only ten minutes long, because the entire crowd is asleep until those last moments. Football? Those sissy players only do one game a week. What's left? Jai-Alai? Wife-swapping? Pppfht. Americans want more baseball, and since all other team sports are crap, we are gonna give it to them."

Under the new season, which will begin immediately in 2012, every team will play every other 75 times. The leagues will be expanded to create a third major league, with seventeen teams in each of three divisions (except for the Galactic West Division, which will hold four teams).

The current debate over a one-game Wild Card playoff has been completely dissolved. Under the new revised baseball season, nine division title winners and three wild card teams will begin the previous year's title fight on April 1 of the following year. Working backwards, the new names for each title bout have been decided, following the previous naming standards:

World Series Champion
Ultimate Division Series Champions I, II
Intermediate Multiverse League Championship Series Victor I, II, III
Prince Philip of Macedonia Winner of Partial Winning Thingy I, II, III, IV
Wild Mushroom and Risotto Primary Leading Chieftain and Grand Inspector of Buillion

Applications for new teams are being accepted immediately by the newly formed Office of Intergalactic Baseball League Formation.

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