Mets: The Future of MLB Pitching Rotations

The New York Mets implemented the next obvious phase in major league baseball pitching rotations on Sunday.

As of Tuesday's game against the Astros, the Mets will be going with a 10-man regular pitching rotation. Each pitcher will throw a minimum of four innings and a maximum of five. In addition, all pitchers will be considered to be "available" out of the bullpen at all times, providing a nine-pitcher relief staff.

"Today's pitchers are incapable of throwing more than 99 pitches effectively," wailed Sandy Alderson, Mets General Manager. "That barely translates into four innings these days. I miss Tom Seaver, who planned on throwing an average of 12 pitches an inning and expected to throw complete games every time he went out there. Sigh," sighed Alderson, sighing miserably.

The primary advantage to this new approach was analyzed by Mets legendary hitter, first baseman, broadcaster, and mustache model Keith Hernandez. "Most hitters do best against weak starting pitchers, which is all the Mets have right now, the third time through the lineup," said 'Mex.' "This new rotation will prevent that deadly 3rd time around from happening, and allow the Mets to present the most effective pitching options the maximum amount of times."

Mets manager Terry Collins, known for innovative managing strategies, knew he had to throw out the standard book of baseball in order to get his struggling team out of last place. "I also tore that book up, shredded the pieces, burned the fragments in a compost bucket, peed on the ashes, and put the remains on the last ship of the Galactica fleet as it headed into the sun for final incineration," said Collins. "Look, I know it's a weird approach, but ya gotta work with what you got. And all I got right now are pitchers who can't get more than fifteen out of 27 outs."

Every starting pitcher from Buffalo has been called up, and all relievers on the big club have been tied up and chained to the ships of the Galactica fleet, solving all roster issues. The additional spots will be awarded to every spare second basemen in the Mets organization.

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