Matsui's Anal Fissure

I have not seen this medical term since reading an advertisement for the Flushing Colon and Rectal Center in The Queens Tribune back in '88:

Matsui, who signed a three-year, $16.5 million free-agent contract in the offseason, has been sidelined since March 21 while recovering from a medical procedure to repair an anal fissure. (source: MLB.com)

The Astros must have a policy of complete and unadulterated medical disclosure.

You gotta feel sorry for the guy. His new team has trumpeted to the entire world, "Hey, Kaz Matsui ... that's spelled M-A-T-S-U-I ... has got an anal fissure! Taht's right! An Anal Fissure!" It's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm sure anal fissures happen to many people many days. But it makes me wonder just how much the Astro management actually likes the guy.

See, if I ever got an anal fissure while in grade school, I would be utterly mortified and humiliated if anyone (like, my sister?) told anyone about it. If that happened to me while I was working at IBM, I would probably have been ENCOURAGED not to talk about it, and simply say something like "I don't know how I got this injury to my ass, ouch, I can't even sit down anymore. But thanks for asking."

And here I had thought that it would not be possible for Matsui to be treated any worse than he had been by Mets manager Willie Randolph. At least Randolph never said to the press, "He's out of the lineup because he's got an anal fissure."

Shame on you, Astros management! Where's your sympathy for a guy with an anal fissure? Honestly.