Monday, March 27, 2006

ME ON "THE SUITE LIFE" THIS WEEKEND

That's right, thanks to reader BernieRA, I now know my episode of "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" will be airing either this Friday, March 31, or April 2.

I also just shot an episode of "The Drake and Josh Show" on Nickelodeon, entitled "Josh Runs Into Oprah", which will hopefully be aired soon, too. The episode of "Jake in Progress" that I shot in January has no scheduled airdate yet -- primarily because the show was cancelled the same day I shot the episode -- but there was some noise that it would likely be shown sometime during the summer. We can only hope.

Drop me a line if you catch the show! I've been doing this for over a decade, and I still get a huge kick whenever I pop up on the screen. Even when it was in the brilliant comedic farce (gag) "The Princess Diaries 2".

Saturday, March 25, 2006

BELTRAN FOR MANAGER

Carlos Beltran is able to beat the crap out of me (and probably even my entire skeleton), but thankfully, I am safely far, far away from him, and can hide behind the relative anonymity of the Internet to say the following:

Beltran is an idiot. A selfish, ignorant, unrepentant fool who thinks he is smarter than the manager. In the case of Willie Randolph, he may be right, but that's besides the point (and for another post).


According to an article in NY Newsday, Beltran once again sacrifice-bunted in a hugely inappropriate situation. Two on, nobody out, first inning, and Beltran, supposedly a power-hitting #3 hitter, lays down a bunt on the first pitch. Randolph didn't signal for a bunt, either -- Beltran did it on his own.

The only time that is a sound strategy is when you are facing a Hall of Fame pitcher like Roger Clemens, John Smoltz, or Dontrelle Willis. Historically, you must score early against pitchers of that calibre, because they get tougher as the game progresses.

Otherwise, it's generally considered bad baseball strategy to resort to such conservative baseball so early in a game. With the heart of the order, generally loaded with three guys who are your best at driving in runs, you give them the green light to hit. That's fundamental statistics, called "playing the percentages."

When questioned about that after the game, Beltran replied as he always does: "That's how I play the game."

Considering his lifetime statistics, Beltran isn't anywhere near good enough to say such a thing. He isn't a lifetime .300 hitter; he isn't a lifetime 30-homer guy; he isn't anything close to being a team leader by example, charisma, or interviewing skills. He's a good player, but he ain't no superstar, and he hasn't shown any aptitude for managing, strategy, or even of good judgement.

I point to his insistance on staying in the lineup with a torn leg muscle last year, so instead of taking two weeks to heal and play at 100%, he played three months at 50%, hurting the team far worse than he would have had he taken the two weeks off. Bad judgement. As bad as Mike Cameron doing the same macho nonsense the year before.


Now, if I were managing the Mets (I may as well wish for ten million dollars while I'm at it, sigh), I would fine Beltran a thousand bucks each time he bunts in even a marginally questionable situation, unless I specifically told him to lay down a sacrifice.

Why? Because I'm the goddamn manager, and by goddamn, the players better do what I tell them to. It's my job, not the player's, to make strategic decisions. I'm paid to know better and know more than my players, and to think and plan ahead for an entire nine innings at a time.

As the manager, my team must play my kind of baseball. If Beltran refuses, he can just gather splinters on the bench, because a player who ignores orders will hurt the team. Period.

Okay Carlos, I'm waiting for you to come and rip my skeleton out of my body with one hand. I'd still be right, though. You ain't the manager, and you shouldn't even hint that you think you are.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

METS: SPRING TRAINING BLAHS

Spring Training games are dull. I have watched the last two WB11 telecasts, of course, and eagerly anticipated their starting times out here in Los Angeles, CA (receiving them thanks to Dish Network Local Channels), and have been unpleasantly struck by the indifference of the players, the broadcasters, and especially of myself.

All I can really talk about is the unexpected development that losing Kris Benson and Jae Weong Seo from the rotation hasn't seemed to have been a liability. Their minor league replacements of Brian Bannister and Mike Pelfrey have looked wonderful; Aaron Heilman, Tom Glavine, and Steve Tracshel have also looked very good.

Of the rest of the starters, Victor Zambrano has been pitching in the WBC, so who knows what he's been like. Pedro Martinez, we can just hope he'll be ready, and spend our time thinking of new inventions to save his toe from that well-documented pounding it takes on every pitch. How about a steel-toed shoe? Or putting little tiny seatbelts and airbags around his toes to keep them from getting slammed around?

Meanwhile, watching reliever Jorge Julio has been downright frightening. His motion is violent and undisciplined, and his pitches land everywhere, including in the batter's ribcage. Pedro Feliciano's appearance today was encouraging for the Mets left-handed reliever corps.

And that's it for today's dredging of the baseball blogging barrel. I am itching - itching - for the season to get started.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

METS: NATIONAL PRIDE VS PRO CAREER

I've come up with my own reason to dislike this "World Baseball Classic". All these Mets that are playing for these national teams (wearing uniforms copped from the finest high school designers, right down to the letters on the Korean caps coming off due to bad iron-on transfer technology) are not in camp.

At this point, there are three weeks left in spring training, and not only are several of the Mets regulars not around -- several of the guys who were supposedly hoping to get a job aren't, either.

Jorge Julio, for example, came to the Mets in the Anna Benson deal. He is a big question mark, in real danger of getting released, demoted to the minors, or who knows, perhaps even sold to the Korean baseball league. The only way he could win a job this year with the Mets would be if he:

1) Came to spring training.
2) Worked with the coaching staff.
3) Played in exhibition games in front of the Mets decision makers to show that he's not washed up, that he pitches well enough to be given a coveted spot on a major league roster -- an honor only a few hundred guys get every year.

To be honest, he didn't accomplish any of these things this spring. So nobody on the team knows what he can do, or even if he speaks English or Spanish or Portugeuse or Penguin. I myself have no idea what he even looks like.

It seems to me that established veterans can go to an exhibition like the World Baseball Classic without any issues. Their spots are guaranteed on their respective rosters; guys like Jose Reyes, Carlos Delgado & Beltran, Jae Weong Seo, Miguel Tejada, Mike Piazza, etc. don't need the spring training grind to prove that they deserve to be on the team.

Rookies, marginal players, guys who need the six weeks of spring training to show their teams that they deserve a shot, are essentially commiting professional suicide by playing in the WBC. And what do they get in return for walking out of camp for three or four weeks?

"National Pride." As the saying goes, that and three bucks will buy you a cup of nonfat no whip decaf mocha at the local Starbuck's.

This may be the first time I'm in any sort of accord with George Steinbrenner. The WBC doesn't serve anyone. It's a glorified sandlot league, and it takes away from the serious business of some players who should really be worrying about working on their professional careers -- not their pro exhibition careers.

Monday, March 06, 2006

METS HO!

Ahhh, I'm happy. I'm watching the Mets vs. the Indians right now on ESPN. After so many months away, after reading so many uninteresting blog posts about the Mets, after enduring fluff piece after fluff piece in the NY Times and their ilk, there is finally something going on in the Mets universe worth blogging about.

Sure, the team did a lot of trades this winter. They let a lot of people go. But that's not the stuff I think is worth blogging about.

The most fun I have blogging about the Mets is when I observe something on my own. The same goes when I read other bloggers: I really enjoy those that have their own observations and opinions formed while watching the team play. Bloggers who simply provide rehashes of games, or summaries of news stories on mets.com, or just grind the same axe with every post ... well, I'll just read the stories on mets.com.


Back to blogging. Today's game is really all about the springtime competition for second base and right field. Anderson Hernandez and Jeff Keppinger are playing at short and second, repectively, and both have muffed their first chances. Ground balls rolled up their arms and bounced off their chests -- hey, and now Indians second baseman muffed a routine ground ball by Chris Woodward. Hm. Perhaps the infield dirt stinks? Sounds like the dirt at Shea.

At this point, the only difference I can really see in the competing pairs is energy. Both Keppinger and Victor Diaz are low-key, low-personality types, virtually invisible as they walk by. Serious stonefaces.

In contrast, Hernandez is a barely contained tightly coiled spring, and Xavier Nady has an on-field intensity to him kinda like Keith Hernandez back in 1985-89.

None of that has anything to do with baseball. But in this neck-and-neck-and-neck-and-neck competition for these two jobs, with none of these guys especially great players, Nady and Hernandez make it much easier to root for them than Diaz and Kepp do.

Maybe we'll even get a glimpse of Kazuo Matsui sometime, whose only real "edge" is the fact that he draws such ire from the fans.